There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
