1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
