There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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