i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Send help, water and tortillas.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
