We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
