capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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