i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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