this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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