SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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