is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
