so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
