Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
