we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
