I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
it wasn't lemon gatorade
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just googled if crying burns calories
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
