My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
