my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
