i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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