I want to have your abortion
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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