How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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