Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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