Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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