Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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