Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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