He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
