So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
