Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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