he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Is it penis luge time yet?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
