so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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