also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
