I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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