yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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