I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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