I'm jealous of your bromance
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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