I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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