I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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