Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
