Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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