I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
