I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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