Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
