I want to stick my p in your. b.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
