I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
