also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
