I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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