so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
