So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
