Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
