i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
