Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
