Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
