omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
