that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
