is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
