I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
