i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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