i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
