Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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