Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
